The Beer Cart Approach

I was at a Minnesota Wild hockey game with Aly when the following event occurred:

Location: Beer Cart

Participants: Aly, Moustached Beer Cart Woman, John and crowded beer line

Interaction:

Aly: What kind of beer do you have?

Moustach: Miller Lite, Budweiser or Boulevard

Aly: Hmm. I don't know.

John: Just pick one.

Aly: I don't know what I want.

John: Just pick one, it's probably one keg and three taps anyway.

Aly: Maim, what's the darkest out of the three?

Moustache: Maim, I have no idea.  I'm just pulling the tap.

This is today's revelation:

At a sporting event, you don't order a beer by type, you order by number.

Push button nachos and door stop pretzels are hardly the environment to engage taste buds.*  And deciphering different beers from sweat soaked tap lines is an exercise in futility.

A beer cart approach must be confident and quick.  Like Ellen - in and out.

John's steps for ordering beer at the game:

1. Pull cash from wallet in preparation of approach - rounding up to the next dollar amount from the total cost of your beverage purchase (i.e. if you order one beer for $7.75, hand over $8.00)

2. Raise hand to head high, extending the number of fingers as number of beers you wish to receive (incorporate additional hands/fingers if necessary)

3. While approaching cart, loudly confirm the number of outstretched fingers appearing on hand/hands (acceptable to vocally repeat the number as many times as necessary)

Avoid quips such as "You, sir, are a craftsman" or "God made you, then the tap" which inhibit speedy transactions.

Smile, but not too much.

Stand close enough to the cart to turn over your money and not let anyone cut in front of you.  But don't stand so close that you rub against the cart.  Then you get all that mystery liquid stuff all over your shirt and look like a sticky idiot.

Focus on the money.  Then the number.  Then, the sweet taste of success.

Make me proud.

*Unless you are from Wisconsin.